Psychic Vampirism or Friend in Need?
Quote from K. Sis. Nicole T.N. Lasher on 8th February 2022, 9:55 pmThese are difficult times for many people, and a great many of us out here in the service community are feeling it. In addition to our own issues, we have to deal with people around us who are sick, broke, and/or falling apart emotionally. The stresses of life are bearing down on so many so deeply and so quickly that it is hard to stay both stable and social at the same time.
Times like this, the mangroves are calling us. They are very tempting.
So I'd like to remind everyone about psychic vampires and people who might dip into that during harsh times like this. You don't have the time, and you will never have enough energy, enough optimism, or enough love for these types of people. You will waste your life trying to make someone feel better who doesn't want to. You owe them nothing. Just cut it off.
On the other hand, there are friends who do want to feel better and can actually be encouraged. Those are the ones who deserve your attention.
In a professional context, the best way to sort between those who need help and those who just want to suck you dry is whether or not they are willing to pay you for your labor. The predatory often try to confuse you by making you operate outside of your role or the role they are willing to compensate you for. Like they will ask for a reading, but it turns into a four hours phone session, but they are unwilling to pay you for that three hours of counseling.
The way to deal with that is to have clear boundaries. After you get to know a patron and actually enjoy spending a bit of extra time and attention on them, this is fine. However, someone trying to exploit you should be shown the door, so to speak. Don't be afraid to refuse service and refund people you are uncomfortable serving.
With friends, it's a bit tougher to parse, but you know someone is sucking when they don't respect your time, your boundaries, or your right to say no. Also, if not being able to meet for coffee or stay in a conversation because you need to work or just don't have it in you at the moment, sends them into suicidal mode or blaming you for their not being able to self entertain, you need to get away from that person. You're not their friend. You're their emotional toy they feel they can pick up and put down as they please, and what you need doesn't matter.
So please, my wonderful witches out there, don't let yourself get drained. We need to take care of ourselves in order to stay ready to take care of others.
You are needed. You are valued. You don't need to waste your abilities on people who will just misuse or abuse it.
Blessings and Ashe!
These are difficult times for many people, and a great many of us out here in the service community are feeling it. In addition to our own issues, we have to deal with people around us who are sick, broke, and/or falling apart emotionally. The stresses of life are bearing down on so many so deeply and so quickly that it is hard to stay both stable and social at the same time.
Times like this, the mangroves are calling us. They are very tempting.
So I'd like to remind everyone about psychic vampires and people who might dip into that during harsh times like this. You don't have the time, and you will never have enough energy, enough optimism, or enough love for these types of people. You will waste your life trying to make someone feel better who doesn't want to. You owe them nothing. Just cut it off.
On the other hand, there are friends who do want to feel better and can actually be encouraged. Those are the ones who deserve your attention.
In a professional context, the best way to sort between those who need help and those who just want to suck you dry is whether or not they are willing to pay you for your labor. The predatory often try to confuse you by making you operate outside of your role or the role they are willing to compensate you for. Like they will ask for a reading, but it turns into a four hours phone session, but they are unwilling to pay you for that three hours of counseling.
The way to deal with that is to have clear boundaries. After you get to know a patron and actually enjoy spending a bit of extra time and attention on them, this is fine. However, someone trying to exploit you should be shown the door, so to speak. Don't be afraid to refuse service and refund people you are uncomfortable serving.
With friends, it's a bit tougher to parse, but you know someone is sucking when they don't respect your time, your boundaries, or your right to say no. Also, if not being able to meet for coffee or stay in a conversation because you need to work or just don't have it in you at the moment, sends them into suicidal mode or blaming you for their not being able to self entertain, you need to get away from that person. You're not their friend. You're their emotional toy they feel they can pick up and put down as they please, and what you need doesn't matter.
So please, my wonderful witches out there, don't let yourself get drained. We need to take care of ourselves in order to stay ready to take care of others.
You are needed. You are valued. You don't need to waste your abilities on people who will just misuse or abuse it.
Blessings and Ashe!
